Management 06 (Enterprenuership)

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: I will choose my own bride father,what happen to civilization!
Father: But the girl is Dangote's daughter!
Son: Well, in that case...ok

Next Day Father approached Dangote.

Father: I have a husband for your daughter.
Dangote: But my daughter is too young to marry!
Father: But this young man is a vice-president at the World Bank!
Dangote: Ah, in that case...ok

Finally Father went to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.
President: But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!
Father: But this young man is the son-in-law to Dangote.
President: Ah, in that case...ok

Moral:
You can start with virtual capital.You don't have to kill yourself looking for loan.

Laugh in Logic

1. If time doesn't wait for you,don't worry!Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside So,try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world!That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. Only 20 percent boys have brains,rest have girlfriends!

7. All desirable things in life are either illegal,banned,expensive or married to someone else!

8. Laziness is our biggest enemy - Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies - Mahatma Gandhi

9. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

10 Reasons why you should leave your office at 6pm...

1. Most employment letter stated that working hour finish before 6.00pm.
2. Work is never-ending process even if you stay until next morning you will never finish it.
3. Human are not robots even robots/machines have to rest or else it will face breakdown problems from time to time.
4. You love your career,but your family is even more important in your life.
5. If you failed in your life,your boss is not going to be the one who gives you a helping hand whereas your family would definitely offer help.(There can be exceptions like working In Generis Solutions).
6. you do not want to screw up or make your life miserable because of your job.
7. Monthly salary= Work from 9am - 6.00pm
If 6.30pm= N 0.00 + 0 Bonus + 0 Appreciation + Bad health + Bad social life + poor family relationship=Unproductive employee + Drop in performance + Drop in Company reputation + Reternchment rate increases + Resignation rate increases
8. If there is someone who disagree with the above formulation.i think he/she is a loser who has no life,heartless,doomed workaholic etc.He deserves the "Best employee of the year award!
9. You don't give a damn if your boss fires you.
10.Remember the fact that one company no longer want you,mean there are so many out there looking for you.

QFTW

"Every failure,obstacle or hardship is an opportunity in disguise.Success in many cases is failure turned inside out."

Some Corporate Languages

"We will do it" means "You will do it"

"You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

"We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"

"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done...At least not tomorrow !".

"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

"There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now,will talk later"

"We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up,we cannot deliver on time."

"We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought"

"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

"You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

"We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"

"Well... family is important,your leave is always granted.Just ensure that the work is not affected" means "Well you know..."

"We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

"All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

Ways to reduce stress.

“Never borrow from the future.If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen,you have worried in vain.Even if it does happen,you have to worry twice”
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and uncluttered your life.
7. Less is more.(Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself.Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time;don't lump the hard things all together..
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns.If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety .If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget;don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups;an extra car key in your wallet,an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S.(Keep Mouth Shut).This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a book with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems?Talk to God on the spot.Try to nip small problems in the bud.Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with good positive people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite sayings and/or scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you God.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

He will save you.

Isn't it amazing how God works in our lives! On a Saturday night several weeks ago,this pastor was working late,and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM,but his wife didn't answer the phone.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer,but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away.He asked her why she hadn't answered before,and she said that it hadn't rung at their house.They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday,the pastor received a call at the church office,which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night.The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about.Then the man said,"It rang and rang,but I didn't answer."The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him,explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.

The man said,"That's, OK.Let me tell you my story.
You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night,but before I did,I prayed,'God if you're there,and you don't want me to do this,give me a sign now.'At that point my phone started to ring.I looked at the caller ID,and it said,'Almighty God'.I was afraid to answer!"

The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!If you believe that God answers prayers then appreciate God wherever you are now.He can save you too from whatever is seeking to consume you.Cheers

SUSPECT ULTIMATE:::Chicken story(Management 05)

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock.As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently,the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock :"Welcome to join me,we will work together towards productivity.
Young cock :What you mean?As far as I know,you are old and should be retired.
Old cock :Young boy,there are twenty-five hens here,can't I help you with some?
Young cock :No!Not even one,all of them will be mine.
Old cock :In this case,I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.
Young cock :O.K. What kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meter run.From here to that tree.But due to my age,I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.
Young cock :No problem !We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently,the following morning,the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.Soon enough,he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly,Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old cock,he was shot dead by the farmer,who cursed,"Hell !This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

Moral of the story:
Watch,listen and learn.There is no harm in sharing don't be greedy.

Significance of Seven in the bible.

Complete Creation And on the seventh day God ended (Completed/Finished) his work.Gen 2:2
Complete Submission And he passed over before them, and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.Gen 33:1
Complete Witness For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me.Gen 21:30
Complete Mourning and there they mourned with a great and very sore lamentation: and he made a mourning for his father seven days.Gen 50:10
Complete Atonement And he shall take of the blood of the bullock, and sprinkle it with his finger upon the mercy seat eastward; and before the mercy seat shall he sprinkle of the blood with his finger seven times.Lev 16:14
Complete Sacrifice And ye shall offer with the bread seven lambs without blemish of the first year.Lev 23:18
Complete Rejoicing ye shall rejoice before the LORD your God seven days. Lev 23:40
Complete Cleansing And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying, Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean.2 Kings 5:10
Complete Binding And Samson said unto her, If they bind me with seven green withs (Cords) that were never dried, then shall I be weak,and be as another man.Judges 16:7
Complete Possession And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities,Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils.Luke 8:2
Complete Work of Holy Spirit John to the seven churches which are in Asia:Grace be unto you,and peace,from him which is,and which was,and which is to come;and from the seven Spirits which are before his throne.Rev 1:4
Complete Power(Seven Horns) and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been
slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth.Rev 5:6
Complete Knowledge(Seven Eyes) and in the midst of the elders,stood a Lamb as it had been
slain,having seven horns and seven eyes,which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth.Rev 5:6
Whole Church in God’s Hands (Seven Stars)And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp two edged sword:and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.Rev 1:16
Complete Wrath of God And I saw another sign in heaven,great and marvellous,seven angels having the seven last plagues;for in them is filled up the wrath of God.Rev 15:1

QFTW

"The ability to concentrate and to use your time well is everything."

Se7en.(07/07)

The number seven symbolizes God's perfection,His sovereignty and holiness.
1.) God created earth - seven days
2.) One seven-day week is a reminder of our creator
3.) God blessed the seventh day,making it holy (Exodus 20:8-11)

The number 7 is important in both the Old Testament and the New Testament.It seems that numerology was so important that representing an event or series of events with the number 7 helped prove that the story was true.The number 7 was of special importance in the Zoroastrian religion, where there were 7 creations,7 regions of the world,7 Amesha Spenta (who became the 7 archangels of Judaism),and so on.This would have a great influence on the evolution of numerology in Judaism.However,the number 7 was already significant in Judaic numerology,indicating some earlier influence.

Some examples of 7 in the Old Testament:the first creation story in Genesis,written during or just after the Babylonian Exile,has seven days;Noah took every clean beast and every bird by sevens,and in seven days it rained;Jacob served seven years for Leah and seven years for Rachel;Egypt had seven years of plenty and seven years of famine.

The New Testament has the seven loaves and fishes;seven devils exorcised from Mary Magdalene;forgiveness seventy times seven.Also,Revelation has seven churches and many symbols are seven fold,usually because of the 7 angels (archangels).Luke's Gospel demonstrates that Jesus was predestined for greatness because great men occurred in multiples of seven generations starting from Adam, Enoch at 7,Abraham at 21,David at 35 and Jesus at 77,while Matthew demonstrates that Jesus was predestined for greatness because there were 14 generations from Josiah to Jesus,just as there had been 14 generations from David to Josiah and from Abraham to David (14 being 2 times 7).There were seven heavens and the apocryphal Ascension of Isaiah had the Son descend into the lower world and then re-ascend to the seventh heaven.

In the universal language of mind, in which the spiritual works were written, seven means control.Where zeros follow a seven it refers to a degree of understanding related to the experience of control.On our way to becoming spiritually adept,we must first learn to control the physical body,and the emotions,and gain control of the conscious ego ( our own personal devil,or satan).In revelation,the seven churches refers to the seven levels of mind and what must be accomplished in each in order to reach the Christ consciousness,in language of mind.

In Genesis,God created the earth in 6 days and on the seventh day he rested.This was the first week.Also in Acts,there were seven deacons of the church.The number 7 is usually equated with the idea of perfection.

Financial sense. (Management 04)

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan,so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.He produces the title and everything checks out.The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,repays the $5,000 and the interest,which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says,"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,and this transaction has worked out very nicely,but we are a little puzzled.While you were away,we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000"?

The Indian replies:"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah,the mind of the Indian...This is why India is shining

This month Of June.

This 7th month of year 2008 is “My Turn to Shine”, for my light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon me,Isaiah 60: 1-22.I will radiate the glory of God and manifest His goodness.The Lord will do great things for me.The Lord will restore all the years that the locust has eaten.I shall eat in plenty and be satisfied; this shall be for me a Month of plenty of God’s provision.It shall be a month of great program of wondrous provision for me.I shall eat the riches of the Gentiles and in their glory shall i boast.For my former shame i shall have double blessing.Every valley shall be lifted,every mountain and hill shall be made low and the crooked path shall be made straight and the rough places smooth.

The glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh we shall see it together for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.The Lord shall comfort me;my wilderness will be like Eden and my desert like the garden of the Lord.Joy and gladness shall fill my life,thanksgiving and the voice of melody also.It shall be a month of growth and increase for us.I will generate victory after victory this month.My light will rise in obscurity.I will swim in divine illumination.I will ride upon the high places of the earth and feed from the heritage of Jacob my Father.

This month it shall not be by might nor by power,but by the Spirit of the Lord.The Spirit of the Lord will go into operation for my sake.I will experience the move of the Holy Spirit in every facet of my life.I shall be a light for the Gentiles and the salvation of the Lord unto the end of the earth.My heart desires and dreams shall come to pass.I shall live and not die.This is my month of financial breakthrough;for i will flourish in financial abundance.

The Lord will lighten my face and i shall not see shame as i look unto Him.Sickness and disease shall not be named among us.He shall cause they that come to me to take root,i shall blossom and bud,and fill the face of the world with fruit.It shall be a month of all round distinction for us.Generis Solutions will sour upon eagles wings and continue to grow from glory to glory even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

I will ride on these prophetic wings in Jesus Name, Amen!